Relationships

Forming Healthy Relationships at College

By Michelle Wells My social media accounts are filled with pictures these days. Teenagers are heading off to college for the first time. Young adults are returning to campus to resume their studies. Pursuing higher education often requires moving and sharing a place with a roommate or two. Though the prospect of independence is exciting, learning to live with someone new is a growth experience. Under the best of circumstances, roommates may become the best of friends or at least suitable living partners. Since it is often easier to build a healthy relationship than it is to fix a broken one, the question becomes, “How do you cultivate a healthy living environment from the very start?” Read More

Do Religious Families Play A Role In Addiction?

Religious Families and AddictionWritten by Thomas Gagliano, MSW In order to understand why religious families inadvertently and at times unintentionally create an environment where their children run to addictions rather than God as their coping mechanism, we must first begin by understanding the mindset of a child. When we look back on our childhood, we look back through adult lenses. Since then, we have grown by our maturity and life experiences, which may have distorted the truth of our childhood. Many of us carry messages that tell us we are bad children if we get mad at our parents or disagree with them. This message can have a profound impact on the way the person feels about himself or herself in adulthood. It is important to respect our parents but we can also have different opinions. A child needs to feel their opinion is important to their parents or the child may feel he or she isn’t important. Validating and acknowledging a child’s feelings is essential if they are to have self-worth. If children are afraid to share their true feelings and doubts in fear of reprisal then who can they trust? All of these messages set up the destructive entitlement that leads to addiction. It’s no coincidence that most addictions begin before the age of 18. Read More

When Parents Have a Distorted Sense of Boundaries

Excerpted from the book Changing Course by Claudia Black, Ph.D., Senior Fellow at The Meadows Many times abandonment issues are fused with distorted, confused, or undefined personal boundaries. We experience abandonment when parents have a distorted sense of boundaries, their boundaries and ours. They want us to like what they like, dress like they dress, and feel as they do. If we in any way express differences from our parents, or make different choices than they would, we know we run the risk of rejection. Read More

Looking for ‘The One?’ First, Look Into Your Trauma

There seems to be an assumption these days that people in their 20s are all caught up in “hookup” culture. Supposedly, young adults are not at all interested in committed relationships and use dating apps like Tinder only to have a series of casual, no-strings-attached, sexual encounters. Read More

Connection is the Key to Recovery

In a recent TED Talk, journalist and author Johann Hari suggests that “Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong.” He argues that most people in our society see addiction as a simple chemical dependency, when it is actually the result of a failure to connect ─ with family, with friends, with the community, with God, or with a larger sense of purpose. Read More

Three Challenges Facing Young Adults

Young adults have a lot on their plates and, at times, their lives can feel overwhelming. Here are three areas that can be particularly challenging for young adults – peer pressure, college life, and dating. The Claudia Black Young Adult Center is here to help young adults in these areas and in every step on their journey of recovery. Read More